best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
