btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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