the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
