At least make sure they are 18
Why
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
