I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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