SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
