i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
