Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
