you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
