I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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