I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
