The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
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