captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
