It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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