any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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