You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
