just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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