I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Sorry my hands just texted you
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
