Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Someone came in the potted fern
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My feet surprised me
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
