Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
