Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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