Man, jail baloney is awful.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
