Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize