More tranny stories later!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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