There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
