why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
