Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
