you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
