Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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