Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize