I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
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Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
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Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize