I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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