I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Come see our sink grown plant.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Randomize
