So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You ruined the universe
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
