Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
