people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize