i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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