when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
