Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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