i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
