Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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