grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
