My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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