Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize