This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
