I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize