Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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