he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
