Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
