What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
