I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
