I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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