im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize